Being Love

As several of you might know, my life is in a transition stage right now. I'm not adventuring in this stage as much as I want to be... Rather, I am recovering, regrouping, and relearning things--things such as self-love, confidence, inner peace and its role in loving oneself and other people.

I have set my intention for this phase and, although I'm dealing with the frustrations of not being a globe-trotter at the moment, I am enjoying the journey. More about that later, I guess.

Right now I really want to recommend an audiobook called Being Love by Thich Nhat Hanh. It's narrated by Thich himself and is very calming to listen to. If you need a copy, lemme know. It'll change your life.

"Our capacity to love another person depends on our capacity of loving ourselves. If we do not have peace [or] joy within ourselves, we have nothing to share." -Thich Nhat Hanh

Taking the practice GRE is oh-so-painful. Argh!

Moving forward in peace:
It's the scariest thing to keep moving forward, yet it's essential to growth.
When life moves quickly, how does one find peace in the chaos?
Just wondering, because maybe I'm abnormal and can't handle change properly.
x

Some Quotes from Paulo Coelho

"The moment we begin to seek love, love begins to seek us. And to save us."

"But now we needed each other in order to see the true brilliance of things."

"It's better to lose some of the battles in the struggle for your dreams than to be defeated without ever knowing what you're fighting for."

"There are many ways to serve our Lord. If you feel [this choice] is your destiny, go in search of it. Only a man who is happy can create happiness in others."

"The dream had the flavour of the world, of romance, and of new adventures. I had tried to resist; now I knew how easily love could set fire to the heart."

 ~ All of these quotes are from Coelho's novel By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept. Although The Alchemist is still my favourite, I do recommend giving this book a read.

Despite the risks and the difficulties, in loving yourself you accomplish more by helping others know how to love you. If we attend to the natural part of ourselves that continuously seeks fulfillment, recognition, wholeness, and sufficiency, others are loosened from the responsibility of deciding if who I am is enough.

"Once everything falls into place..." then life would be perfect, right? Then I'd find peace. Nope. Peace comes first. This quote by Marianne Williamson really spoken to me today, especially since peace and coming to terms with yourself is essential to mental and emotional wellbeing.

In a similar sense, I think we can only find peace if we give control of our lives over to our creator. The one who loves us so much that we can't even comprehend it. He is the one who never gives up on us, whose love NEVER runs dry... Not even when we think ourselves so undeserving of love. Not even when we've made mistakes that have led to hurt. Pain and brokenness can be healed. And thank God for that, because there is no possible way I could ever heal on my own. Because, in all honesty, I've done quite a shit job at trying to heal myself. 

On a related note, I've gotten to speak to some wonderful persons over the last few days. Thank you for breathing scripture, wisdom, and encouragement into my life. For sharing your experiences, struggles, and hopes with me. It means the world to me, and I'm very thankful for you.

x

Can I just say that I love Brené Brown? Her teachings on vulnerability and courage have been wonderfully inspiring. Since I follow her on Facebook, I'd like to share one of her recent updates.

I swim for many reasons but none more important than the constant reminder to "stay in my own lane." Nothing ruins my swim or my creative process more than comparison and competing. Sometimes I literally have to repeat: focus and be grateful for what's happening here.

I think being thankful is extremely important to mental and emotional stability, especially during the hard times. As a person who very easily compares herself to others (and gets super jealous!) it's a great reminder to 'stay in my own lane'... to live the life that is set out for me, not for someone else.

Another inspiration from Brené is the note she has displayed in her workspace-- a reminder for the hard times. It's refreshing to know that the people we look up to sometimes have self-doubt... but they power through it.

-wholeness-

This year has been one of the hardest years of my life. Hand down.
Today has been a step in the right direction, and I am praying for wisdom and courage as I walk down this road of healing.
Mindfully. Truthfully. Knowing that my heart is at stake, and if I don't fight for wholeness for myself, nobody will. Only I can change my situation, and it's gonna be one hell of a fight, but it's a fight I want to make. Need to make.

x

The Appalachian Mountains

Happy Labour Day...

Sights

{Thurs Aug 28}

New shoes (thanks to a sweet deal on eBay!) and some great quotes (kudos to TheGoodVibe.co).

Monday's Motivation: A failure is not always a mistake, it may simply be the best one can do under the circumstances. The real mistake is to stop trying. -B. F. Skinner

Oh the Irony!

On the 200th anniversary of the burning of the White House... (which is today, FYI)... there is slight irony in the fact the the British Embassy in Washington DC is holding a "White House BBQ" to commemorate the event. LOLOL.

http://time.com/3154675/white-house-burning-war-1812/

Striving

What are you living for? Perhaps a loaded question, I know, but when was the last time you stepped back (or looked in the mirror) and really thought about it? Do you live for days off, for a certain targeted amount of money in your RRSP/IRA, for 10 minutes of peace and quiet with a coffee before leaving for work? What do you live for?

I don't think there are necessarily any wrong answers here... Since we're all wired quite differently and we all have certain goals and lifestyles we hope to embody/achieve.

When I think about what I'm living for, it's mostly the accumulation of knowledge, experiences, and achievements. If you know me, this shouldn't be surprising. Not surprising at all, since my #1 strength on the Strengths-finder Test is Achiever. (Both times, since I took the test in my first and fourth years of university).

Twice I came up as an achiever. And as I reflect on my childhood, I am trying to think of what happened to make me base my personal worth on my actions. But I'll save that for another post!! For someone who has a reading list yay high, a "prospective masters degree" folder that consistently gets narrowed-down and then built back up again... for someone who can't stop improving her LinkedIn profile or organising pictures on Flickr, just for the sake of achieving another step of organisation... When does the madness end? I am an absolutely compulsive overachiever!

So when I ask myself, "What are you living for?" it's quite difficult to answer without immediately talking about achieving something. Aside from my goals, what am I living for?

I don't think I can answer that question honestly without involving goals. Hmmm.

Striving for the achievement of goals has been the single-most destructive force in my adult life-- one that has kept me well on the chaotic side of the Chaos-Peace spectrum. (And yes, I did just make that up, stop asking questions, haha). It has led me to achieve some pretty cool things, but it's also caused me to become paralyzed by the fear of failure, the fear of not achieving, and the fear of who I am (or appear to be) when all the accomplishments are stripped away.

If I could write a letter to my 17-year old self, I would start with, "Take a deep breath. Stop striving." Stop engaging in "opportunity cost"-style thinking, of constantly pondering the What If's and What Should Be's... Just STOP it! Goals are great, but they're not the essence of a happy life.

I saw this quote ^ today on Pinterest and it shifted my perspective from having my stomach in knots to feeling a deep calm. Today, I will focus on simply being instead of rushing to the next thing. I will stop putting conditions on things like happiness and worth.

If you struggle with achieving and performance-based worth, I highly encourage you to start meditating. Meditating doesn't need to be just sitting in silence (although it can). You can start by taking a few minutes and repeating a mantra that focuses your thoughts on something simple and encouraging. As Thich Nhat Hanh says in his book The Art of Power, "True happiness and true power lie in understanding yourself, accepting yourself, and having confidence in yourself."

So I encourage you today to step back and smile at yourself. Because no matter what you're living for, you are beautiful, you have worth, and you have the power to enjoy TODAY.

Ribbon ♫♫

#beautiful #acoustic #bbcradio1 #billiemarten

{Wed Aug 20}

From ELITE DAILY, here's an article titled "An Open Letter to the Girl Who Let the Nice Guy Go"... posted by my friend Alex, it's an interesting read. This one is also worth a read- Why Clinging To A Past Love Is Taking A Traumatizing Toll On Your Well-Being

Believe in Yourself

"I learned that it doesn’t matter how hard you work, if you don’t believe in yourself fear will stop you from accomplishing your dreams. ... Understand my friends that the absence of fear is impossible. If you’re doing anything worthwhile fear will be present. The key is still going out and doing it anyway despite that fear."  -Cornell Thomas, basketball player

Persistence

~ quote from a Lionspire article

"Without education, we are in a horrible and deadly danger of taking educated people seriously."
 -GK Chesterton

Yosemite National Park

^ west entrance to the park... HUGE wildfire from last summer- caused by people who had an illegal campfire in the national forest. 

^ You can see the damage caused by the wildfire

 

^ I found a huge cone from a sugar pine!  ^ View from the top of Yosemite Valley

^ Driving through the first part of Yosemite Valley

^ swimming in the freezing glacial water :)

^ getting creative on a hike to the base of Yosemite Falls 

^ no jumping from the what? ;)

Happy 49th, Mom!

Happy birthday to a woman who has and always will be the most beautiful person I know. She constantly gives of herself, she loves her family wholeheartedly, and she undisputedly bakes the world's best chocolate-chip banana bread. xo (PS my mum is top right)

Looking Back...

I found a few old pictures of my brothers with Max, our beloved collie. (Actually, our grandparents' collie, but we were over all the time). I have the cutest little brothers ever. :)