Some of you may be familiar with the song titled "I've Had the Time of My Life". Now, I've never seen the movie Dirty Dancing, but I've spent enough time in doctors' offices to know the tune by heart and to have it pop in my head from time to time. And with all of my recent ponderings about Life -- what I want out of it, where I want to be, where I see myself heading, what I want to
do with it, etc etc... -- I can't help but evaluate the past and present... for closure and to see what I've learned about myself and the world around me.
Looking back at pictures from China, I find myself humming the catchy-and-somewhat-cheesy song mentioned above. (Actually, that's a total lie.) I'm both mortified at the things I managed to survive and sentimental about the things I enjoyed and now miss about the experience. It truly was a time of overcoming challenges (mostly on my own), becoming familiar with a very foreign, complex, and changing culture, getting used to being "The Different One" in a homogenous society (meaning
everyone the same), having schedules change frequently and without notice, and struggling the concept of not making others "lose face" while trying to hold my school to its contractual obligations. It was CRAZY. And I learned SO much, from the good and the bad. I learned that sometimes I've just gotta smile and plow through the day despite all its challenges, because there were hundreds of 12-year old students looking to me for encouragement and a bit of fun in their otherwise monotonous, rigorous day. I learned the most efficient bus routes to get to school in a pinch for time, which streets were the most dangerous to bike during rush hour, which places had the tastiest and safest street food, and how to navigate entire Chinese cities without an accurate map. I learned which styles of lessons each class liked, what topics were a hit with the students, how to approach (and not approach) sensitive issues with Chinese friends and my school, how to make my own "Western-style" food using Chinese ingredients, how to politely/tactfully decline the dog meat (or any other unrecognizable or detestable animal part), and much, much more. I celebrated Christmas without family, and in the most untraditional, disconnected way. I grappled with loneliness, feeling isolated in a foreign, faraway culture, translation frustrations (Chinese is WAY hard), a few health issues, trying to find natural remedies for those health issues, keeping up relationships from afar, the frustration that comes with interacting with people in an aggressive, survival-of-the-fittest society, and just dealing with the "daily grind" of teaching about 1,100 students per week -- not to mention making up my own curriculum as I went.
Yeah. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. :)
Some people have asked if I would do it over, if I had the chance. Hmmm. My answer changes depending on how I feel when the question is asked. Overall, I wouldn't take back the experience. I heightened my independence (I had previously thought I'd maxed out on that, but was definitely proven wrong!), developed patience, interpersonal skills, problem-solving skills (of all kinds
*!), and a sense of what is truly important in this life. In a sense, I came home with a
different lens through which I see the world. Some things the same, but a lot different.
Coming home was such a whirlwind-- I was overwhelmed with seeing my family again (a
good overwhelmed, mostly), being in a culture where I could understand the language and wasn't "The Different One", starting the process of looking for work, finding out what to do next (short-term and longer-term), and catching up with old friends. It's been an up-and-down transition, to say the least.
This week I had the chance to spend some time "catching up" with two close friends from undergrad. One was in Scotland for a bit and is now moving to Turkey, and the other has been working non-profit for a while and is starting a 2-year stint with the PeaceCorps in Ethiopia! My other two closest friends in Ontario have finished some world travels, also -- one spent a year in Spain and Austria, and the other did missions work in the Dominican Republic. My boyfriend traveled with me in China for 6 weeks and then visited some family members in the Philippines.
And I can truly say that I have NO idea where I am going next in life. *sigh*
I just hope that I keep adventuring, learning, and meeting people who challenge me. Because I don't want to look back and wish that I did more with my life. I want to enjoy my work (whatever field I get into), love to the fullest (despite its hardships), and give back to my community (wherever that ends up being). The key, I think, is to be at peace with God first, yourself second, and others third -- and to make battling for that peace a priority each and every day.
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*Like when you come home after a pseudo monsoon (yes, this includes getting caught in it with no umbrella), finding broken windows, soaked furniture, water everywhere, and worst of all-- clothes NO LONGER THERE that were hanging out to dry. They had been scattered all over the metal awnings above windows on the various floors below me. And on the ground. I had to get quite crafty to handle all these problems while feeling completely overwhelmed and frustrated by the whole ordeal!
OR the time when Josh and I missed a connecting train ride due to heavy rains delaying the first train. We missed the second one in a middle-of-nowhere, shit-hole city by FIFTEEN minutes at 3 o'clock in the morning. We hauled our bags to go wait in line, exchanged our tickets, waited in line again, got denied by the ticket lady who wasn't patient enough to deal with foreigners' Chinese, cried a bit (that was only me, not Josh), had to settle for STANDING-ROOM-ONLY tickets from Sichuan to Beijing (essentially SW to NE China... a long, long way), were forced to sleep on metal benches for 8 hours in the roach-infested waiting area, and then actually survive the seatless 27-hour train ride. Insane. We had to make a lot of friends on that train ride to get space on the floor in between cars. :/
